A Touch of Winter
by NaughtyNovelist60
Summary: As Bucky tries to adjust to being back in the world he seeks help from a psychiatrist. Her method of helping him becomes more than just talking. In an effort to bring him back in touch with his emotions she takes his 'treatment' to a whole new level of the physical.


A Touch of Winter

01/03/2018

His eyes were the most beautiful she had ever seen but, and this made her heart ache, they were also the deadest. Sometimes she wondered if he had ever actually felt any emotion. He never smiled or gave any indication that he felt any pain in any way. She so wanted to see behind the mask he wore day in and day out. Ever since Steve had broken through the mind control that Hydra had forced on him he had been trying to find his place in this new world. She had the job, as his therapist, to help him with his readjustment. Day by day he was beginning to remember his past. This was not always easy for him because, along with his mind they had erased his emotions.

For months she had been working with him to try and regain his former self but, so far, nothing had worked. It was proving impossible to elicit responses to emotional stimuli from someone who had no emotions. She would have to find another way to get through to him. She had been pondering on it for a while now and, until now, had thought of nothing. Then, while reading a text book on primal behaviours, she had finally come up with something. It was unorthodox to say the least, but it may just work. It was also the kind of thing that was highly frowned upon by the Scientific Community and, if it worked, could lead to some tricky developments because it was so emotionally dangerous. Still, if it worked it could bring Bucky back to a normal and completely full life, so she decided it was worth it to go ahead.

The idea was to go back to man's most primal urges. Hunger, defence of his home and family and of course, this was probably the most important one, sex! Yes, she had decided to use sex to possibly finally get through the conditioning he had been subjected to by Hydra. She had tried everything else she had in her arsenal, so she had nothing to lose in trying this…. or so she thought. They had an appointment that night, so she had better get everything ready. First, she had to set the right mood. This was not going to be easy to do as her office was not set up for lovemaking. Then again, who said they had to meet in the office? She picked up the phone and called him.

He agreed to meet her at her home, so she gave him the address and, after hanging up, sat back and thought about how she was going to handle this experiment. That was how she had to think of it…an experiment. If she thought of it as anything else she ran the risk of becoming too involved emotionally. He was, she had to admit, becoming more to her than just a patient and this could prove dangerous. It was understood implicitly that as a therapist one did not become emotionally involved with your patient yet, here she was, about to become a lot more than emotionally involved. She was about to commit the cardinal sin of her profession. She knew it was wrong, but she could think of no other way to get through to him that she had not already tried.

She left the office shortly after the phone call to him and made her way home. She needed time to arrange things to make the atmosphere conducive to what she was trying to achieve. As she set to work setting everything up she began to wonder whether she was doing this for scientific or personal reasons. Finally done she sat at her desk and ran through it in her mind. As she planned it all out she began to feel something that she should not have felt…excitement. Why she felt this way had nothing to do with her role as his therapist but rather that she was about to make passionate love to a man she was sexually attracted to.

Admitting to herself that she was physically attracted to Bucky made her sit up suddenly. This made what she was about to do something entirely different to that which it was originally intended. This turned it into purely sexual desire and need. Tonight, she would strip away not only her clothes but her ethics and oaths as a medical practitioner. This was going against everything she had sworn an oath to uphold. And, right now, she didn't give a shit. All she could think of was Bucky's hands on her and his cock inside her. Her hand had found its way to her pussy and her fingers were already playing with her clit. She was on the verge of coming when she heard the pounding on the door.

Snapping back to the here and now she rearranged her clothes and went to open the door. Pausing only to get her breathing back under control she opened it and there he stood. She would never get used to how beautiful he looked. All dark hair and blue eyes with those full kissable lips and square jaw. He was tall and broad shouldered with amazing long legs that ended in a perfect butt. The rest she could only imagine but, after tonight, would know intimately. She invited him in and watched as he walked that slow, loping walk to her living room. She followed and once there told him to sit down. She walked behind the chair he had plonked himself into and placed her hands on his shoulders. He jumped to his feet startled.

"I am sorry Bucky. I didn't mean to startle you"

He stared at her intently.

"I don't like to be touched. You know that"

"Yes, I do but it is something we need to work on if you are going to truly reintegrate"

Bucky just continued to stare at her. She needed to get him to relax though this was something he seemed permanently unable to achieve.

"Really. We do have to conquer that if you are ever going to have a normal relationship with people"

"I find it difficult but, if you insist, I will try"

"Good! Then let's start with some trust touching, okay"

"Trust touching?" he questioned.

"Yes. This is where we gently touch each other while standing no closer than arms reach. Do you think we can try this?"

He stood perfectly still and rigid while she moved to arm's length from him. He did not move. Reaching out her hand she touched him gently on his right arm. Not wanting to cause problems she was deliberately ignoring his metal left arm. Not that it was easy to ignore. His eyes kept watching her face. Slowly she moved her hand further up his arm. She kept going until her hand had reached his lovely face. At this point she so badly wanted to kiss those luscious lips but she knew she needed to go slowly.

Her fingers began to trace the contours of his jaw. His head tilted a little to the left as her hand reached his neck. She moved in closer. She could feel the heat from his body and hers began to respond in kind. Closer and closer she moved. He stood firm. Soon she had her body pressed up against his and she was barely holding herself back. She then said,

"Bucky, touch my face"

"Why?" he asked.

"So you can feel the softness of my skin. This is something men and women do to each other"

"I do not understand"

"Just touch me, please"

He reached out and placed his hand on her face. His touch was surprisingly gentle. He had long expressive fingers that now moved to cup her chin. She felt faint. She could feel his body's automatic response to her proximity. She now knew that nothing Hydra had done had completely wiped his essence. His body's primal urges were still there, and she was going to make use of them right now. Her other hand, until now resting on his shoulder, began to travel the length of his body down to his hard cock.

She had wondered how big he was and now she knew. More than adequate it seemed. It was very hard and very thick. She reached around to the back of his neck and pulled his face to hers. Quickly, she placed her lips on his full lips and kissed him. At first, he did not respond but, after a few moments, her tongue gained access to his mouth and he began to return the kiss. His lips were soft against hers at first but, as the kiss grew in intensity so too did the urgency and pressure. His tongue explored her mouth as his hand explored her body. Her own body was on fire from his touch. When his hand touched her pussy she almost jumped out of her skin.

She broke away from him and he tried to drag her back but, she took his hand and took him to the bedroom. At the bedside she reached for his shirt and began undoing the buttons. He watched as she slowly undid each one and started to push his shirt off his shoulders. Suddenly he grasped her wrist, and, for the first time, she could see some emotion in his eyes. What she saw was a mixture of pain and fear.

"No" he said.

"Why?" she asked.

He looked at his metal arm and she realised the fear he displayed was to do with his prosthetic.

"It's okay Bucky" she told him" I don't care about your arm. I want you to touch me with it"

"But I might hurt you"

"No, you won't"

"You can't be sure of that, I can't be sure of that. Besides, what is the point? I can feel nothing with it"

"No, but I can. You can use it to please me. Do you want to please me, Bucky?"

"I…I…don't know! I feel…!"

"Yes, how do you feel?"

"I feel strange. I feel yet I don't want to feel. You confuse me, and I don't like it. Why does my body want to respond to you this way?"

"Bucky, my body responds to you too. It is normal. I want to help you remember what it is to feel again. Do you want to feel again?"

He looked deep into her eyes as though he was having trouble deciding about his feelings and whether he wanted them. She waited not wanting to push things too far.

"I want to feel but I am afraid. I am beginning to remember what it means to feel emotions and how you can be hurt by feeling"

"Yes, you can be hurt but you can also feel immense joy and pleasure. Right now, I want you to experience pleasure again, Bucky" she told him as her fingers started to undo his jeans.

She could feel him pull back but wasn't sure if it was to stop her or to give her easier access. She looked up into his face and saw his desire and confusion.

"I promise you I will never hurt you, Bucky. I only want to help you. Let me show you, please"

After a moment he let out a small sigh and relaxed. She pulled down his zipper and freed the hard, throbbing cock that strained against the material. She was surprised at the size of it. She had not suspected how big it was but was pleased. She clasped it in her hand and felt him gasp and shudder. Dropping to her knees she took him in her mouth and began to suck and pull on him. He leaned back and pushed into her mouth. She kept pulling and sucking as she held him with one hand and clasped his balls in the other.

His hand moved to hold her head. After only a few moments of her mouth on him he suddenly pulled back and out. She had tasted the pre-cum on the tip of his knob so she knew that had she continued he would have come in her mouth. He placed his hands under her armpits and raised her up to kiss her deeply and the turned her to the bed. They fell together with him on top.

She felt the weight of him and it felt so right. His mouth found hers again and their lips ground together even as their hips also did. She took his metal hand and guided it to her panties. He understood and lifted himself up, so he could grip the lacey G-string. Gripping it with the strength of that hand he ripped it from her effortlessly. She arched her back and he touched her with the tip of his metal finger. As the cold steel met her warm, wet skin she gasped and jumped. He thought he had hurt her and withdrew his hand, but she grabbed it and placed it back on her throbbing clit.

Though he couldn't feel her he could see that she was enjoying the touch so, with just the right amount of pressure he began to rub that pleasure spot as he watched her respond. She had gripped his cock and was running her hand up and down the length of it even as he rubbed her. They both revelled in the feelings that their mutual touching was causing them. Her moans were enough to tell him that he was not hurting her and the throbbing in his cock told her she was causing him intense pleasure also.

As the tempo of their pleasure increased they both knew that they were close to climax and, without speaking she moved to allow him access to her pussy. He raised himself again, so she could guide him into her wetness and then, with a mixture of tenderness and urgency, pushed himself in as deeply as he could. He felt the tip of his cock hit the back of her pussy and her back arched to accommodate him. He began to pull out and then push in. He moved slowly at first but with their increasing need, faster and faster. Her legs rose up to encircle his hips and her hands gripped his ass. She was pushing up to meet his thrusts with equal intensity and he marvelled at how they fit so well together.

He was watching her face and wondering why he could feel everything physically yet, even in this moment of true intimacy, could feel nothing emotionally. Then, she opened her eyes to look up at him. Her eyes were like mirrors in which he could plainly see himself. What he saw was enough to cause him to lose control and begin to cum. He tried to fight it but she, sensing something momentous had occurred, denied him this ability. She moved in such a way that he could not, and truth be told, did not want to stop. His cum poured out of him in great pulsing streams. Filling her and taking her over the edge into her own orgasm. They came together in great paroxysms of joy.

In those heaving, writhing moments of pleasure his mind cleared of the mists and his feelings burst to the surface. He instantly knew what it felt to feel again. What it meant to want someone. He wanted her so badly in that moment and was so overjoyed that he had her that he almost choked on the guttural roar that escaped him. His head flew back, and his chest filled and his voice echoed through the room. Her scream of pleasure met with and joined his roar like in a song of joy. They sang together until they both ran out of air and voice.

He fell back onto the bed in sheer exhaustion. Gasping at the air like a drowning man his chest heaved with each breath he fought to take. She was also gasping and fighting to breathe. Many minutes later when he could at last breathe normally he said,

"I remember. I remember everything" in a voice laced with wonder and surprise. He raised himself up on one elbow and looked down into her beautiful face.

"Thank You!" he said with deep sincerity. "You were right. You brought it all back. I can feel everything again"

"Everything? Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes! Everything! I remember falling from the train. I remember Steve trying to save me. I remember the fear, the pain, Hydra, everything. My past, all the things I have done. I am not sure how I will feel about that in time but, right now, I feel….overwhelmed"

"I am not surprised you feel that way, Bucky. Your mind has been through a lot and it will take time to process it all. But, for the moment you just need to take it slowly. Let it all settle in its own time"

"You sound just like my therapist" he looked confused.

"I am your therapist" she replied. "Remember, this was aimed at possibly restoring your emotions. We have done that and now it is back to our original relationship"

He stared into her eyes and saw that she was as conflicted as he.

"I don't believe either one of us can return to where we were. Not after this. I certainly don't want to be your patient. I want to be more than that now. Don't you?"

"Bucky, I would love to be more than that with you but, and I hate to say this, you might just be feeling this way because of the huge emotional breakthrough you have just had. Your emotions are very raw, and you need time to readjust to them. Let's wait and see, shall we?"

Bucky got out of bed and stood up. He turned to face her, and her resolve almost flew out the window. God Almighty he was so beautiful. All she wanted to do was run to him and hold him forever but, she knew, common sense said to be patient and wait. They both needed to see if this sudden need to be with her was a true feeling or just gratitude. Time would tell. He looked crestfallen but, in the end, she knew he agreed. He came around to her and taking her hands in his looked into her eyes,

"Okay, but I will prove to you that this is not just because of what you have just done for me. It is because I want to be with you. You are beautiful, caring and compassionate. I could fall in love with you based solely on these traits alone. Give me a chance to prove to you that I am sincere and won't let you down. I will work hard to come back fully and that the only scar I will let stand is the one I cannot change" he indicated his metal arm.

His eyes told her that he was indeed sincere yet, her mind told her, they had a long way to go yet. Still, if she didn't allow him to prove he could be the man Steve knew and believed was still in there, then she would never know if his feelings for her would prove to be true. She wanted to love and be loved by him and, so she agreed. He took her into his arms and held her to his chest.

"You will never regret trusting me. I promise you" he said solemnly.

"I believe you mean that Bucky. I promise to help you in any way I can. We will work together for as long as it takes okay. But, and I mean this, we cannot make love again until our work is finished. We must keep this on a purely patient and therapist level"

"Okay. It will be beyond hard to not want you but, I will be happy to simply be with you in any way I can. We will make a future together day by day"

Feeling the beat of his heart under her hand she knew that its steady rhythm meant he was telling her the truth. They would indeed work together to build a future. What that future would turn out to be neither of them could have imagined.

The End…. Maybe!


End file.
